


The Heart Cannot Betray

by ExtinctionOfReality



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M, Weirdness, abstractness, suicidal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 07:30:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9168457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExtinctionOfReality/pseuds/ExtinctionOfReality
Summary: Sakuya has a hard time coping with his life after the subclass disbandment.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stirlingphoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stirlingphoenix/gifts).



> A late Christmas/New Years gift.XD Love you!!~

The sound of the rain hitting the sidewalk, the peace and quiet that came with it, the damp smell... He really enjoyed it.

Closing his eyes, Sakuya could just dive into daydreams, his mind traveling into many places simultaneously, having too many thoughts on his mind to catch any of them. He would imagine a ball of light traveling at a high speed, him along with it, going further and further...somewhere...he wasn't sure where...somewhere far far away...

"Tsubaki..."

The name left his lips in a barely audible whisper, the trip inside his mind halting, red eyes flickering open...and he was back again. Back in the same place, with no dreams or future of his own. No purpose. No reason. No life.

It was almost comical, he could almost laugh...

What has his life turned into..? Where did he go wrong..?

He...knew where. He just didn't know what to do about it.

It's not like he regretted his actions...it's not like he wanted to go back in time and do things differently.

Sakuya wouldn't be himself if he did..

None the less...he...hated it. He hated how it all turned out.

And it was eating at him alive. He wanted none of this emptiness.

Leaning his temple against the side of the wall, his feet dangling from the edge of the building, he couldn't help a smile that crept on his face.

Such a familiar sensation. How many times has he done this already? How many times has he sat there, watching cars and people, contemplating the same thing all over again..?

And...why did each and every single time...did he leave without trying?

A small laugh. Was he weak?

Nah..he didn’t think so. Thoughts…somehow, they stopped him from the deadly leap…

But then...why was he always returning to the same place, with the same thoughts?

It was as if he was stuck in a loop of his own self-destruction. And there was nothing he could do about it. Not without him. Not without-

"Tsubaki..."

That name was his only saving grace. It was his only savior.

Ever since he left...

Ever since...he was left alone...

Ever since...his subclasses split...

He couldn't find his own place. He was restless.

He was alone.

Sakuya couldn't move on.

He couldn't live.

He didn't...want to.

Mahiru... Mahiru?

What about him? Yeah...he saved his friend...

And he was paying the price for it.

He just...couldn't choose a side. How was he supposed to? All his life...he has always stayed neutral... How was he supposed to choose here and now..?

How?!

"Tsubaki..."

He...felt like he made a mistake. How could he have betrayed him..?

How...could he have...let him down..?

His savior...the one he promised his life to.

Tsubaki said it...he knew that...no matter what happened...

He was forever Tsubaki's...

Sakuya knew that.

But...

Another laugh erupted and he jumped to his feet, his expression crazed, eyes spread as he screamed up to the heavens, "You said you would be here to stop me, to turn me back, if I were ever to try this again!! I have been sitting here for god knows how long, waiting for you! Only you! But you..." ah...was it...the rain, "You..." or... "...you are...not..." his voice was getting quieter...he hated it. He hated himself, "...you are not...here..." tears.

He has had enough.

Eyes hidden by his bangs, a wide smirk in full view.

Sakuya dropped back off the edge.

His heart...was broken.

Ah...how much he longed after the absolute silence of that one moment...when he dropped.

It felt like...time around him stopped. It was as if...nothing else existed beside him...and the wind.

He...loved this.

He loved this so much...

But just as he was about to drop further, a hand grabbed his jacket and flung him over back.on the roof.

Mahiru..?

No...it couldn't be him...

But if it was...he was...

He...was...

"Hello there, my darling Sakuya~ Did'ya miss me that much?"

That voice...those clothes...that smile...

Did his heart just...skip a beat..?

"Tsubaki..!"

He…really did…come.

Ha...

Haha...

Thank...god...

Squeezing fists, Sakuya gulped down a lump.

Finally...finally...

How...long...has it...been..?

Weeks..? Months..?

Months...

"Tsubaki..!"

He couldn't think, he couldn't talk...all he could do was stare.

"I-"

"Shh..." fingers on his wet cheeks...and he swore he could almost feel...

Warmth...

"Didn't I tell you... I wouldn't let you drop?" Sakuya's eyes softened instantly as he heard those words...that voice...

A sweet lullaby to his ears.

Grabbing hold of much needed hands, so hard as if they would disappear the next second, making sure they were real, Sakuya closed his eyes, taking them in, nuzzling, melting into them...as if a cat in its master's hold.

He...missed this so...so much...

"Hmm...did ya know...that you are the only one who didn't move on? Isn't that most ironic and amusing?"

That unreadable smile again...and it took a little bit for Sakuya to understand what he meant.

What a twist of fate...isn't it...

And to think that...he was the one who betrayed Tsubaki.

A snicker escaped Sakuya's lips, followed by Tsubaki's...before the smile fell from Sakuya's lips, "Take me back...please...I..."

_I can't live without you. I refuse to see the world without you. I long after you. I need you..._

_I...love you._

Sakuya didn't say any of it out loud. He didn't have to. The way Tsubaki kissed him was the greatest indicator...that he already knew.

Oh how well Tsubaki knew him...

The kiss...took Sakuya's breath away. And he felt like...the only reason for his existence was for that one moment, for that one press of lips against his own.

...instantly...he has found his reason to live once more. His purpose in life.

It's scary...isn't it...just how simple this is...

Just how simple he is...

"...as if I could ever deny my favorite..."

...ah...why was he agreeing so easily? Was Sakuya...dreaming..? Has he fallen asleep..? He needed to pinch himself awake if he has...

Wasn't Tsubaki afraid he would betray him again to save Mahiru..?

To be fair...Sakuya wasn't sure he wanted to do it again...

To make the same horrible...mistake...

And... Tsubaki knew that...

Sakuya was sure...he knew.

Because...he always did...he...always...

"Thank you."

_Thank you for saving me...once again._

Sakuya was on his own neutral side...but more importantly...

He was on Tsubaki's.

_**The End.** _


End file.
